Today I have a forum in which I have logged many years and am active, read old threads.
I was there at that time registered as a woman and written, and then, when trans * started in my life always occupy more space, I have long wondered if I delete the profile - or at least should rename myself. I have not done and keep my gender-neutral nickname there and decided to start my first day testing virtual - watched me endure virtually known people a virtual transition.
It is a great forum - a thread in the way As: "Hey guys today my name is Eric" is not attached there. So I only have my information on sex from female changed to trans FTM and left everything else the same.
In a few groups in which I am a member and their participants to some extent I know I have quite real at the same time to my first coming out in real life, made known what haunts me.
meantime I will in this forum perceived largely male, my private life has moved in, except for a few very old friends, which will still take - in which a "she" but as I said like a "he", so I will be talking only female to work and lack of strangers passing.
How I got used to it no longer "them" is to me to be noticed today while rummaging in that same forum in ancient thread ... I was quoted phrases such as "How do they already wrote above ..." or "I agree with her, know that ...".
I felt mean not even touched rather uncomfortable and strangely left out .... although the same people wrote that I still have contact, I've gotten to know real ..... It feels like from a previous life.
And it lets me stop my questioning, my advanced (???) doubt whether all this is so just yet or just a phase, my fears any point of no return zu überschreiten....
Vor knapp zwei Wochen stellte mir jemand die Frage, wie viele Leute mir noch bestätigen müssten, dass ich auf dem richtigen Weg sei... ich habe mich herauslaviert und die Frage ins Lächerliche gezogen...
Ich weiß, dass es mir nur noch einer sagen muss: Ich selbst.
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